To Date or Not To Date...

that is the question.

And let me just say that in the last few months I have done lots of dating, chatting, and hanging out. Below are the results from the last three dating experiences:

Guy #1 – Said he would call on two different occasions and didn’t. First time he needed time alone to think…um okay. Second time he was just too busy. So when he did call I was less than friendly. I felt as though the tone of my level of importance was already set.

Guy #2 – Amazingly sweet, romantic, smart guy. I wanted to fall in love with him. I really did. And I tried. But you can’t force feelings. He had the most awesome dog too. Why can’t our heads rule our hearts?

Guy #3 – Started out as good friends and knew we had amazing chemistry. Learned he was a relationship addict. Moved from one relationship to the next. Also learned his current relationship wasn’t completely over…definitely a deal breaker.

I have been frustrated, exhausted and sad from hurting people’s feelings so I recently decided to swear off dating for awhile. That is until I realized maybe it is all just bad timing.

We never pick who we fall in love with or when…it just happens. And if I give up on my search for real love I could be missing out on so many things – fun, friends, learning, and laughs – all the things that occur when you open yourself up to world of dating.

Dating is scary. It can be discouraging. But it can also be fun. And who knows this week, next month or next year just might be my time to find real, lasting love.

An Inspiration in Pink

She blew into the salon like a breath of fresh air. Her smile was bright. Her hair and make-up were flawless. She wore tight fittin’ jeans that would turn men’s head. High heel boots only made the spring in her step more visible. And she was wearing the most gorgeous pink sweater.

Rose, my hair stylist, excused herself to hug her neck and take the load of pink sweaters from her arms. They laughed and giggled about various things and off the lady in pink went.

When Rose came back I asked to see one of the pink sweaters that she was holding. As soon as I felt the sweater, I knew I had to have one. The material felt like a soft, warm robe that you would want to bundle up in every chance you got.

Rose explained she was selling more than just a pink sweater. The proceeds from all the sweaters go to the Sharon L Bassett fund, a breast cancer foundation. Rose had lost her own mother to breast cancer and I wasn’t surprised she was willing to support this special foundation.

What shocked me was the story behind the Sharon L Bassett fund. The lady in pink, the one I thought was the breath of fresh air, had breast cancer. She looked like she had life by the strings yet still was undergoing treatment for breast cancer.

But Rose explained she was a survivor. She had chosen to fight and make a difference with the discouraging hand life had dealt her.

The Sharon L Bassett fund helps provide transportation to breast cancer treatments for low-income women. And Sharon herself was one of the women providing the transportation. She was sharing her struggle and fight with women who were dealing with the same battle. And she did this with a huge smile on her face that made you believe life was good.

I sat through the rest of my hair appointment thinking about Sharon and how her choice to make a difference has influenced and inspired so many.

Of course I left the salon with a soft, beautiful pink sweater. But I also left with the reminder that one person can make a difference. And every time I see that pink sweater in my closet or wear it, it humbles me that I am blessed with so much and it reminds me to find ways to help other people.

I challenge you to find ways to help others regardless of your situation.

The opportunities to give are unlimited:

• A warm embrace

• A prayer

• A listening ear

• A donation to a local charity

• A hand-written note

• Your time

• Volunteering at your local shelter

And I hope you receive your own pink sweater, a special something to remind you that you can indeed make a difference!

p.s. To learn more about Sharon L Bassett’s foundation, visit www.pusmcf.com/subhtml/sharon_bassett_fund.asp

A Few of My Favorite Things

Do you ever have something happen that you forgot you loved?

That happened to me yesterday afternoon. I was having a lazy Sunday afternoon that was instantly brightened with a forehead kiss. I adore forehead kisses…they are sweet, gentle and enduring.

The forehead kiss led me to think about other things I love and I began to develop a list of my favorite things.

I couldn’t quit smiling when I was finished making my list and strongly encourage you to make a list of your own. It can be used to cheer you up on a bad day and/or remind you to be grateful for the little things.

Below is my partial list (hope you enjoy!):

• Getting a card for no reason

• My niece’s giggle

• Rain while I nap

• The smell of a cigar (reminds me of my granddaddy)

• A new episode of Grey’s anatomy

• Flip- flops and high heels

• Hearing someone with an accent like mine

• Dancing all night

• Crushed ice

• Singing karaoke in my room

• Crushed ice in a Styrofoam cup

• An elderly couple holding hands

• Sweet tea with crushed ice in a Styrofoam cup

• Petting a dog

• Hearing my parents say they are proud of me

• Chapstick that tingles on my lips

• My t-shirt quilt

• The Alabama the Beautiful sign when I cross the state line

An Oscar Speech to Remember

I confess to being an Oscar junkie. I love to see what the stars are wearing on the red carpet. I also enjoy hearing the acceptance speeches when an Oscar is given. Majority of celebrities are very gracious when they win.

But I always have my ears open for the one acceptance speech that helps me connect with the actor, the one speech that makes a celebrity seem more “real.” Reese Witherspoon made my Oscar wish come true when she accepted her award for Best Actress.

Reese quoted the character she played in Walk the Line, June Carter, in her speech. “Whenever people would ask June how she was doing she would say, I’m just trying to matter. And I know what she means you know. I am just trying to matter and live a good life and do work that matters to somebody.”

Although we are not celebrities, we can still choose to live a life that matters.

What If?

Sitting in the ICU waiting room in Nashville today feels surreal. I feel so lucky to see Katie smiling, talking to me and I know she is going to be okay. And while I should be rejoicing that she made it through a very scary night in surgery and ICU, I have a knot in my stomach that won’t go away…the “what-ifs” keep playing in my mind.

And I know we aren’t supposed to do that but I couldn’t help but wonder things like does she know how important she is to me? Have I told her enough how much I value her friendship, advice and support. Did I tell her recently that laughing with her can cheer up even my worst day? Does she know that I admire her artistic talent? When was the last time I told her I loved her?

As cliché as this may sound – I realize time is precious and time is wasting. And it shouldn’t have taken this scare for me to think about all the things I should have said to her recently.

We are all guilty of this, believing we have all the time in the world. Or maybe we just get too busy. Or we feel silly expressing our feelings. Or we assume those we care about already know.

Tomorrow is not promised so we must be present in today. Go make that phone call, send that email, write a note or drop by for a visit to all of those you love and care about…go to sleep without the worries of “what-ifs.”

A Bike Ride with My Daddy

Everytime I go back home, I always say I am going to make a trip to Three Oaks Winery. They have the best sweet wine I have ever tasted and it gives me an excuse to head to Florida. I mentioned to my daddy how much fun it would be to take the motorcyle and of course he was excited (any chance to ride his Harley does that). My momma looked a little worried because it was not a quick trip but we promised to call when we got there.

It was a perfect day to be on the bike. The sun was shining and the sky was clear. It was just me, daddy and the open road.

We arrived at the winery and the owner inquired about our visit. When I mentioned I was only in town for the week and my daddy agreed to ride me on his bike to get a case of wine, her eyes lit up.

She reminded me that special times for daughters and their dads are limited once we become women and for me to cherish the time I have with him. With tears in her eyes, she talked about all the memories she has of her daddy, who is no longer living.

As we climbed back on the bike, I couldn't help but take in what all she had said. And my ride back home was filled with memories I had made with my daddy. My daddy has always been my personal security blanket. With him, I have always felt safe. All it takes is his presence for me to know everything will be okay. And although I can't fit in his lap and rock like we used to, that doesn't mean that little girl in me doesn't wish I still could.

Any chance I get to hop on his Harley with him, I will. Because I know it is a chance for me to make new memories with the first man I ever loved - my daddy.

Redneck Woman

I love Gretchen Wilson’s big hit song, Redneck Woman and this seems to confuse lots of my friends and family. They have made comments that very few of the lyrics remind them of the woman that I am. What they don’t understand is the real reason I love this song.

Gretchen Wilson grew up poor and only had an eight grade education. Her father left the family when she was still in diapers. She was living on her own by the time she was fifteen and began bartending. By most people’s account, her future would be limited.

But Gretchen continued to dream big. Her passion was singing country music. And she would sing at the local bar she was tending whenever she had the chance. She wanted to make it in Nashville and wasn’t giving up.

Her hit single, Redneck Woman, rocketed to the No. 1 spot on the country Billboard charts and radio charts, marking it the fastest rising artist's debut single in over a decade.

Pretty impressive for a bartender with a big dream isn’t it?

That is the reason I love this song – it reminds me to dream big no matter what hand life deals me. When my girlfriends and I attend her concert in August, I’ll be wearing my cowboy hat and singing at the top of my lungs not because I am a redneck woman but because I have big dreams too!

Can I Have it All?

I had the opportunity to hear female race car driver Lyn St. James speak at a recent women’s networking event. She gave an inspiring and motivating talk about how she became successful. I was fascinated by her success in a male dominated world and enjoyed hearing her speak.

At the end of her talk was a Q&A session. One woman from the back asked her “How did you, as a women, find balance to have it all?”

Lynn’s response to this question was dead on.

She said she didn’t have it all. Having it all isn’t realistic for a man or a woman. The reality is that something in her life had to be sacrificed to achieve what she wanted. For her, the sacrifice was a husband and children. She threw her heart into her passion – racing.

If you have a dream, a passion, you have to be prepared to sacrifice something whether that be sleep, finances, a husband, children, etc.

James R. Ball said it best, “To get what you want, right on the heels of deciding what that is, you must also decide what you will do in exchange for the results you desire.”

A Lot to Learn from Geese

Whenever I get together with my 810 girlfriends, I am always surprised at what I will learn and lake weekend was no exception.

We were sitting in the boat soaking up sun when we saw two geese followed by six or seven babies swimming near our boat. This led to a whole conversation about geese with one question we all wanted to know, “Do geese mate for life?”

Not long after the lake trip, Mona sent out a note confirming that geese do indeed mate for life. She also sent us valuable lessons about teamwork (that we could also apply to our friendship) from geese that she found during her research.

The lessons from geese was based on the work from Milton Olson. I bet after reading these lessons you will have a newfound respect for geese.

Fact one: As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an “uplift” for the bird following. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if the bird flew alone. Lesson: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

Fact two: Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to fly alone, and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the “lifting power” of the bird immediately in front. Lesson: If we have as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation with those who are headed where we want to go (and be willing to accept their help as well as give ours to others.)

Fact three: When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation and another flies at the point position. Lesson: It pays to take turns doing the hard task, and sharing leadership with people, as with geese, we are interdependent on each other.

Fact four: When a goose gets sick or wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay until it is able to fly again or dies. Then they launch out on their own, with another formation, or catch up with the flock. Lesson: If we have as much sense as geese, we, too, will stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strongest.

Smart animals don't ya think?

Makin' Rain

I was honored to be asked to serve on the Advisory Board of a networking group called Rainmakers. Rainmakers is a group of dynamic business people in Indianapolis with one unified goal – to help each other.

They believe what you give will come back to you. So we don’t spend our networking time trying to “sell” ourselves to each other but rather learning about how we can help one another. We search for ways to refer business back and forth. The amount of business passed has been amazing…members have helped other members close deals from hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars.

I am thrilled to give back to this organization, to soak up the energy and knowledge of members, share in successes with dear friends and have the opportunity to apply one of my life’s philosophies to business.

I believe if you aren’t giving, you aren’t really living. And I encourage you to adapt this philosophy to your business if you want to see true success.

Start Makin’ Rain today!

A Lesson from a Five Year Old

Spending a week with my five year old niece meant answering lots and lots of questions. She has an amazing memory and is very inquisitive. We engaged in lots of conversations, one in particular, that taught me a lesson.

Mary Stewart - Holly, are you ever going to get married?

Me - I hope to one day.

Mary Stewart - But you loved that boy whose name began with a ‘C’ didn’t you?

Me - Yes and why do you ask?

Mary Stewart - Well, if you loved him why didn’t you marry him?

Me - Sometimes things don’t always work out the way we hoped or planned.

Mary Stewart - But sometimes they do?

Me - Yep, sometimes they do.

And off to ride her big wheel with my nephew Daniel she went. Such a simple explanation was all she needed. And so it should be with us.

We have been told a thousand times that life is not fair. And we already know that things don’t always go our way. So why, do we as adults, often overanalyze outcomes that are not in our favor or throw pity parties?

Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don’t…so jump back on your big wheel. There is a world of opportunity waiting for you.

Back in the Saddle

It has been a while since I have written in my blog. And thanks to request and lots of questions about where I have been, I'm back to doing something I love - writing.

I have had difficulty carving out time for something I enjoy that doesn't directly relate to my work. I felt if I was writing it should be to grow business. But I am changing that mindset.

Writing, for me, is therapeutic and relaxing; therefore, I am committing to writing at least once a week (as long as I have something to say).

Thanks for your encouragement and support for my passion. I hope you enjoy the plethora of post that follows tonight.

Change or Die...

is the headline article for this month’s Fast Company magazine.

I can remember when death would have been a more appealing choice for me. Okay so maybe that is a little dramatic but I have not always adapted well to change.

And after reading this article, I used to be the norm.

Nine to one odds against you that you would be able to change. Yep, the article says nine to one against you.

So what changed for me to accept change?

I tried it. And not just a small change but a life altering made me crazy for about a year kind of change.

And guess what?

I lived and I learned. And I liked who I became as a result of the changes that I allowed to happen in my life.

So my advice for the nine who would pick death over change:

Change is inevitable. Change is not always easy. But it is through change that you grow.

Stereotypes Be Gone

The cashier at the local store was asking me about my day and as soon as I started talking he wanted to know where I was from. When I confessed to being from Alabama, he mentioned he had a friend that lived in Alabama who he teased about being a hilljack.

I explained I didn’t know what a hilljack was and he informed me it was the same thing as a hillbilly or redneck.

He then proceeded to ask me which word did I identify most with – hillbilly, hilljack or redneck.

“Why would you assume I identify with any of those terms”, I asked.

He politely answered, “Well because you’re from Alabama.”

Now I felt my face get hot but decided to play it cool and explain to him my feelings about his poor assumption.

“Where you are from does not determine what you are. Deciding that I am a redneck, hillbilly or hilljack because I am from Alabama is a total stereotype. I have met rednecks all over including right here in Indianapolis.”

“So you aren’t going to answer which one you are”, he pressed on.

I just smiled and said, “If you must know I am a Southern Belle. And it is only because I am a Southern Belle that I haven’t called you ignorant. Have a nice afternoon.”

Happy Mother's Day

My mom should definitely be celebrating today. She made it through raising me which I am confident was no easy task.

Growing up my momma guided me through temper tantrums, growing pains, disappointments, frustrations, illness, broken heart and change. She encouraged me and supported me even when my choices weren’t what she thought was best. She celebrated in all my successes and encouraged me to always give my best.

I watched her sacrifice a lot of what she wanted to ensure I could be all that I wanted to be. She was loving, hardworking, passionate and kind. She was my unconditional constant.

It has always been an honor to be her daughter and as we grow older it is also an honor to be her friend.

I love you momma!

Fighting Feedback

Reading Sean D’Souza’s post about Customer feedback got me wondering why companies fight feedback so much?

In my role as a marketing consultant, I always recommend that struggling properties complete a Customer survey to use as a feedback tool. I am always met with hesitation and resistance.

I have heard all of the following:

Won’t a survey make the community more aware there is a problem? An excuse because guess what…the community already knows there is a problem that is why your property is struggling.

What if they make recommendations we can’t accommodate? An excuse because if Customers are your first priority then you will want to accommodate them.

People do not have time to fill them out. An excuse because you can make the survey simple and give an incentive for filling it out.

This will just open the door for unhappy Customers to complain even more. An excuse because the unhappy Customer has probably moved their business elsewhere and has no real interest in helping you now.

Feedback from Customers is an opportunity to celebrate what you are doing right (great way to get testimonials) and improve on what you are doing wrong (before you go out of business).

So while you are thinking of all the excuses not to listen to what your Customers have to say, I would also find time to “beef” up your resume because I promise you one thing – you won’t be in business very long.

Happy Birthday Willie!

Willie Nelson turned 72 today and I am celebrating with a trip down memory lane:

Whiskey River – lots of late nights at college with my girlfriends begging the Wayne Mills Band to play this tune just one more time. We also had our own dance to this tune.

Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys – one of my daddy’s favorites. I remember him, a normally shy singer, not afraid to let us hear him belt out this tune.

Georgia – one of my mom’s favorites and mine. A man can make me melt just by asking me to dance to this song but only if it is Willie’s version.

On the Road Again – every road trip the 810 girls and I took in college this was blasting throughout the car. We even had our own lyrics but I can’t reveal everything on my blog.

Thanks Willie for making music, music that reminds me of some very special memories that I will always cherish.