Independent in Indy

To Date or Not To Date...

2006-03-12T20:41:00.000-08:00

that is the question.

And let me just say that in the last few months I have done lots of dating, chatting, and hanging out. Below are the results from the last three dating experiences:

Guy #1 – Said he would call on two different occasions and didn’t. First time he needed time alone to think…um okay. Second time he was just too busy. So when he did call I was less than friendly. I felt as though the tone of my level of importance was already set.

Guy #2 – Amazingly sweet, romantic, smart guy. I wanted to fall in love with him. I really did. And I tried. But you can’t force feelings. He had the most awesome dog too. Why can’t our heads rule our hearts?

Guy #3 – Started out as good friends and knew we had amazing chemistry. Learned he was a relationship addict. Moved from one relationship to the next. Also learned his current relationship wasn’t completely over…definitely a deal breaker.

I have been frustrated, exhausted and sad from hurting people’s feelings so I recently decided to swear off dating for awhile. That is until I realized maybe it is all just bad timing.

We never pick who we fall in love with or when…it just happens. And if I give up on my search for real love I could be missing out on so many things – fun, friends, learning, and laughs – all the things that occur when you open yourself up to world of dating.

Dating is scary. It can be discouraging. But it can also be fun. And who knows this week, next month or next year just might be my time to find real, lasting love.

An Inspiration in Pink

2006-03-06T15:54:00.000-08:00

She blew into the salon like a breath of fresh air. Her smile was bright. Her hair and make-up were flawless. She wore tight fittin’ jeans that would turn men’s head. High heel boots only made the spring in her step more visible. And she was wearing the most gorgeous pink sweater.

Rose, my hair stylist, excused herself to hug her neck and take the load of pink sweaters from her arms. They laughed and giggled about various things and off the lady in pink went.

When Rose came back I asked to see one of the pink sweaters that she was holding. As soon as I felt the sweater, I knew I had to have one. The material felt like a soft, warm robe that you would want to bundle up in every chance you got.

Rose explained she was selling more than just a pink sweater. The proceeds from all the sweaters go to the Sharon L Bassett fund, a breast cancer foundation. Rose had lost her own mother to breast cancer and I wasn’t surprised she was willing to support this special foundation.

What shocked me was the story behind the Sharon L Bassett fund. The lady in pink, the one I thought was the breath of fresh air, had breast cancer. She looked like she had life by the strings yet still was undergoing treatment for breast cancer.

But Rose explained she was a survivor. She had chosen to fight and make a difference with the discouraging hand life had dealt her.

The Sharon L Bassett fund helps provide transportation to breast cancer treatments for low-income women. And Sharon herself was one of the women providing the transportation. She was sharing her struggle and fight with women who were dealing with the same battle. And she did this with a huge smile on her face that made you believe life was good.

I sat through the rest of my hair appointment thinking about Sharon and how her choice to make a difference has influenced and inspired so many.

Of course I left the salon with a soft, beautiful pink sweater. But I also left with the reminder that one person can make a difference. And every time I see that pink sweater in my closet or wear it, it humbles me that I am blessed with so much and it reminds me to find ways to help other people.

I challenge you to find ways to help others regardless of your situation.

The opportunities to give are unlimited:

• A warm embrace

• A prayer

• A listening ear

• A donation to a local charity

• A hand-written note

• Your time

• Volunteering at your local shelter

And I hope you receive your own pink sweater, a special something to remind you that you can indeed make a difference!

p.s. To learn more about Sharon L Bassett’s foundation, visit www.pusmcf.com/subhtml/sharon_bassett_fund.asp

A Few of My Favorite Things

2006-03-06T15:46:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have something happen that you forgot you loved?

That happened to me yesterday afternoon. I was having a lazy Sunday afternoon that was instantly brightened with a forehead kiss. I adore forehead kisses…they are sweet, gentle and enduring.

The forehead kiss led me to think about other things I love and I began to develop a list of my favorite things.

I couldn’t quit smiling when I was finished making my list and strongly encourage you to make a list of your own. It can be used to cheer you up on a bad day and/or remind you to be grateful for the little things.

Below is my partial list (hope you enjoy!):

• Getting a card for no reason

• My niece’s giggle

• Rain while I nap

• The smell of a cigar (reminds me of my granddaddy)

• A new episode of Grey’s anatomy

• Flip- flops and high heels

• Hearing someone with an accent like mine

• Dancing all night

• Crushed ice

• Singing karaoke in my room

• Crushed ice in a Styrofoam cup

• An elderly couple holding hands

• Sweet tea with crushed ice in a Styrofoam cup

• Petting a dog

• Hearing my parents say they are proud of me

• Chapstick that tingles on my lips

• My t-shirt quilt

• The Alabama the Beautiful sign when I cross the state line

An Oscar Speech to Remember

2006-03-06T15:07:00.000-08:00

I confess to being an Oscar junkie. I love to see what the stars are wearing on the red carpet. I also enjoy hearing the acceptance speeches when an Oscar is given. Majority of celebrities are very gracious when they win.

But I always have my ears open for the one acceptance speech that helps me connect with the actor, the one speech that makes a celebrity seem more “real.” Reese Witherspoon made my Oscar wish come true when she accepted her award for Best Actress.

Reese quoted the character she played in Walk the Line, June Carter, in her speech. “Whenever people would ask June how she was doing she would say, I’m just trying to matter. And I know what she means you know. I am just trying to matter and live a good life and do work that matters to somebody.”

Although we are not celebrities, we can still choose to live a life that matters.

What If?

2005-07-27T03:00:00.000-07:00

Sitting in the ICU waiting room in Nashville today feels surreal. I feel so lucky to see Katie smiling, talking to me and I know she is going to be okay. And while I should be rejoicing that she made it through a very scary night in surgery and ICU, I have a knot in my stomach that won’t go away…the “what-ifs” keep playing in my mind.

And I know we aren’t supposed to do that but I couldn’t help but wonder things like does she know how important she is to me? Have I told her enough how much I value her friendship, advice and support. Did I tell her recently that laughing with her can cheer up even my worst day? Does she know that I admire her artistic talent? When was the last time I told her I loved her?

As cliché as this may sound – I realize time is precious and time is wasting. And it shouldn’t have taken this scare for me to think about all the things I should have said to her recently.

We are all guilty of this, believing we have all the time in the world. Or maybe we just get too busy. Or we feel silly expressing our feelings. Or we assume those we care about already know.

Tomorrow is not promised so we must be present in today. Go make that phone call, send that email, write a note or drop by for a visit to all of those you love and care about…go to sleep without the worries of “what-ifs.”

A Bike Ride with My Daddy

2005-07-17T19:55:00.000-07:00

Everytime I go back home, I always say I am going to make a trip to Three Oaks Winery. They have the best sweet wine I have ever tasted and it gives me an excuse to head to Florida. I mentioned to my daddy how much fun it would be to take the motorcyle and of course he was excited (any chance to ride his Harley does that). My momma looked a little worried because it was not a quick trip but we promised to call when we got there.

It was a perfect day to be on the bike. The sun was shining and the sky was clear. It was just me, daddy and the open road.

We arrived at the winery and the owner inquired about our visit. When I mentioned I was only in town for the week and my daddy agreed to ride me on his bike to get a case of wine, her eyes lit up.

She reminded me that special times for daughters and their dads are limited once we become women and for me to cherish the time I have with him. With tears in her eyes, she talked about all the memories she has of her daddy, who is no longer living.

As we climbed back on the bike, I couldn't help but take in what all she had said. And my ride back home was filled with memories I had made with my daddy. My daddy has always been my personal security blanket. With him, I have always felt safe. All it takes is his presence for me to know everything will be okay. And although I can't fit in his lap and rock like we used to, that doesn't mean that little girl in me doesn't wish I still could.

Any chance I get to hop on his Harley with him, I will. Because I know it is a chance for me to make new memories with the first man I ever loved - my daddy.

Redneck Woman

2005-07-17T19:29:00.000-07:00

I love Gretchen Wilson’s big hit song, Redneck Woman and this seems to confuse lots of my friends and family. They have made comments that very few of the lyrics remind them of the woman that I am. What they don’t understand is the real reason I love this song.

Gretchen Wilson grew up poor and only had an eight grade education. Her father left the family when she was still in diapers. She was living on her own by the time she was fifteen and began bartending. By most people’s account, her future would be limited.

But Gretchen continued to dream big. Her passion was singing country music. And she would sing at the local bar she was tending whenever she had the chance. She wanted to make it in Nashville and wasn’t giving up.

Her hit single, Redneck Woman, rocketed to the No. 1 spot on the country Billboard charts and radio charts, marking it the fastest rising artist's debut single in over a decade.

Pretty impressive for a bartender with a big dream isn’t it?

That is the reason I love this song – it reminds me to dream big no matter what hand life deals me. When my girlfriends and I attend her concert in August, I’ll be wearing my cowboy hat and singing at the top of my lungs not because I am a redneck woman but because I have big dreams too!

Can I Have it All?

2005-07-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity to hear female race car driver Lyn St. James speak at a recent women’s networking event. She gave an inspiring and motivating talk about how she became successful. I was fascinated by her success in a male dominated world and enjoyed hearing her speak.

At the end of her talk was a Q&A session. One woman from the back asked her “How did you, as a women, find balance to have it all?”

Lynn’s response to this question was dead on.

She said she didn’t have it all. Having it all isn’t realistic for a man or a woman. The reality is that something in her life had to be sacrificed to achieve what she wanted. For her, the sacrifice was a husband and children. She threw her heart into her passion – racing.

If you have a dream, a passion, you have to be prepared to sacrifice something whether that be sleep, finances, a husband, children, etc.

James R. Ball said it best, “To get what you want, right on the heels of deciding what that is, you must also decide what you will do in exchange for the results you desire.”

A Lot to Learn from Geese

2005-07-17T18:27:00.000-07:00

Whenever I get together with my 810 girlfriends, I am always surprised at what I will learn and lake weekend was no exception.

We were sitting in the boat soaking up sun when we saw two geese followed by six or seven babies swimming near our boat. This led to a whole conversation about geese with one question we all wanted to know, “Do geese mate for life?”

Not long after the lake trip, Mona sent out a note confirming that geese do indeed mate for life. She also sent us valuable lessons about teamwork (that we could also apply to our friendship) from geese that she found during her research.

The lessons from geese was based on the work from Milton Olson. I bet after reading these lessons you will have a newfound respect for geese.

Fact one: As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an “uplift” for the bird following. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if the bird flew alone. Lesson: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

Fact two: Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to fly alone, and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the “lifting power” of the bird immediately in front. Lesson: If we have as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation with those who are headed where we want to go (and be willing to accept their help as well as give ours to others.)

Fact three: When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation and another flies at the point position. Lesson: It pays to take turns doing the hard task, and sharing leadership with people, as with geese, we are interdependent on each other.

Fact four: When a goose gets sick or wounded or shot down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay until it is able to fly again or dies. Then they launch out on their own, with another formation, or catch up with the flock. Lesson: If we have as much sense as geese, we, too, will stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strongest.

Smart animals don't ya think?

Makin' Rain

2005-07-17T18:02:00.000-07:00

I was honored to be asked to serve on the Advisory Board of a networking group called Rainmakers. Rainmakers is a group of dynamic business people in Indianapolis with one unified goal – to help each other.

They believe what you give will come back to you. So we don’t spend our networking time trying to “sell” ourselves to each other but rather learning about how we can help one another. We search for ways to refer business back and forth. The amount of business passed has been amazing…members have helped other members close deals from hundreds of thousands to millions of dollars.

I am thrilled to give back to this organization, to soak up the energy and knowledge of members, share in successes with dear friends and have the opportunity to apply one of my life’s philosophies to business.

I believe if you aren’t giving, you aren’t really living. And I encourage you to adapt this philosophy to your business if you want to see true success.

Start Makin’ Rain today!

A Lesson from a Five Year Old

2005-07-17T17:34:00.000-07:00

Spending a week with my five year old niece meant answering lots and lots of questions. She has an amazing memory and is very inquisitive. We engaged in lots of conversations, one in particular, that taught me a lesson.

Mary Stewart - Holly, are you ever going to get married?

Me - I hope to one day.

Mary Stewart - But you loved that boy whose name began with a ‘C’ didn’t you?

Me - Yes and why do you ask?

Mary Stewart - Well, if you loved him why didn’t you marry him?

Me - Sometimes things don’t always work out the way we hoped or planned.

Mary Stewart - But sometimes they do?

Me - Yep, sometimes they do.

And off to ride her big wheel with my nephew Daniel she went. Such a simple explanation was all she needed. And so it should be with us.

We have been told a thousand times that life is not fair. And we already know that things don’t always go our way. So why, do we as adults, often overanalyze outcomes that are not in our favor or throw pity parties?

Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don’t…so jump back on your big wheel. There is a world of opportunity waiting for you.

Back in the Saddle

2005-07-17T17:11:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I have written in my blog. And thanks to request and lots of questions about where I have been, I'm back to doing something I love - writing.

I have had difficulty carving out time for something I enjoy that doesn't directly relate to my work. I felt if I was writing it should be to grow business. But I am changing that mindset.

Writing, for me, is therapeutic and relaxing; therefore, I am committing to writing at least once a week (as long as I have something to say).

Thanks for your encouragement and support for my passion. I hope you enjoy the plethora of post that follows tonight.

Change or Die...

2005-05-08T21:02:00.000-07:00

is the headline article for this month’s Fast Company magazine.

I can remember when death would have been a more appealing choice for me. Okay so maybe that is a little dramatic but I have not always adapted well to change.

And after reading this article, I used to be the norm.

Nine to one odds against you that you would be able to change. Yep, the article says nine to one against you.

So what changed for me to accept change?

I tried it. And not just a small change but a life altering made me crazy for about a year kind of change.

And guess what?

I lived and I learned. And I liked who I became as a result of the changes that I allowed to happen in my life.

So my advice for the nine who would pick death over change:

Change is inevitable. Change is not always easy. But it is through change that you grow.

Stereotypes Be Gone

2005-05-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

The cashier at the local store was asking me about my day and as soon as I started talking he wanted to know where I was from. When I confessed to being from Alabama, he mentioned he had a friend that lived in Alabama who he teased about being a hilljack.

I explained I didn’t know what a hilljack was and he informed me it was the same thing as a hillbilly or redneck.

He then proceeded to ask me which word did I identify most with – hillbilly, hilljack or redneck.

“Why would you assume I identify with any of those terms”, I asked.

He politely answered, “Well because you’re from Alabama.”

Now I felt my face get hot but decided to play it cool and explain to him my feelings about his poor assumption.

“Where you are from does not determine what you are. Deciding that I am a redneck, hillbilly or hilljack because I am from Alabama is a total stereotype. I have met rednecks all over including right here in Indianapolis.”

“So you aren’t going to answer which one you are”, he pressed on.

I just smiled and said, “If you must know I am a Southern Belle. And it is only because I am a Southern Belle that I haven’t called you ignorant. Have a nice afternoon.”

Happy Mother's Day

2005-05-08T18:35:00.000-07:00

My mom should definitely be celebrating today. She made it through raising me which I am confident was no easy task.

Growing up my momma guided me through temper tantrums, growing pains, disappointments, frustrations, illness, broken heart and change. She encouraged me and supported me even when my choices weren’t what she thought was best. She celebrated in all my successes and encouraged me to always give my best.

I watched her sacrifice a lot of what she wanted to ensure I could be all that I wanted to be. She was loving, hardworking, passionate and kind. She was my unconditional constant.

It has always been an honor to be her daughter and as we grow older it is also an honor to be her friend.

I love you momma!

Fighting Feedback

2005-05-01T20:10:00.000-07:00

Reading Sean D’Souza’s post about Customer feedback got me wondering why companies fight feedback so much?

In my role as a marketing consultant, I always recommend that struggling properties complete a Customer survey to use as a feedback tool. I am always met with hesitation and resistance.

I have heard all of the following:

Won’t a survey make the community more aware there is a problem? An excuse because guess what…the community already knows there is a problem that is why your property is struggling.

What if they make recommendations we can’t accommodate? An excuse because if Customers are your first priority then you will want to accommodate them.

People do not have time to fill them out. An excuse because you can make the survey simple and give an incentive for filling it out.

This will just open the door for unhappy Customers to complain even more. An excuse because the unhappy Customer has probably moved their business elsewhere and has no real interest in helping you now.

Feedback from Customers is an opportunity to celebrate what you are doing right (great way to get testimonials) and improve on what you are doing wrong (before you go out of business).

So while you are thinking of all the excuses not to listen to what your Customers have to say, I would also find time to “beef” up your resume because I promise you one thing – you won’t be in business very long.

Happy Birthday Willie!

2005-04-30T19:39:00.000-07:00

Willie Nelson turned 72 today and I am celebrating with a trip down memory lane:

Whiskey River – lots of late nights at college with my girlfriends begging the Wayne Mills Band to play this tune just one more time. We also had our own dance to this tune.

Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys – one of my daddy’s favorites. I remember him, a normally shy singer, not afraid to let us hear him belt out this tune.

Georgia – one of my mom’s favorites and mine. A man can make me melt just by asking me to dance to this song but only if it is Willie’s version.

On the Road Again – every road trip the 810 girls and I took in college this was blasting throughout the car. We even had our own lyrics but I can’t reveal everything on my blog.

Thanks Willie for making music, music that reminds me of some very special memories that I will always cherish.

Letting Go

2005-04-29T21:19:00.000-07:00

I was listening to all the current stories of a person I thought I used to know, a person who played a significant role in my past with disbelief that I really didn’t know that person at all or maybe I just chose not to see them for who they really were. I was more disillusioned at the role I must have played in their life…very different from the role I hoped in my heart to be true. After several days of thinking about this and our past relationship, I realized I was wasting valuable time and energy on something and someone I could not control.

I could not change the past or change the person but I could choose to let go and move on.

I had been planning for several weeks to drive for a quick weekend trip to Birmingham to see my niece’s dance recital. I had just visited at Easter and I have been traveling a lot for work lately so I knew this trip was not what was best for me. But since I have moved away I continue to struggle with the guilt of missing birthdays, holidays, parties, etc. for friends and family.

As I lay awake at 4am on Friday morning (the day I was supposed to leave) I realized that I had to let go of the guilt I carry about my move. Living here is what is best for me and just because I can’t be at every function down south does not change how important my friends and family are to me. So early Friday I called my family and gave them the news that I had decided not to travel without feeling guilty, a definite first for me.

You can probably relate to one of the above situations where holding onto something such as fear, disappointments, failure, your past, or guilt was wearing you down. Holding on to negative feelings zaps your joy and builds resentment in your heart.

The great news is there is an alternative – letting go. Give yourself permission to move on and relish in the freedom you will feel from simply letting go.

Take Care of Your People

2005-04-03T21:04:00.000-07:00

In my quest to become a master of Customer service I was drawn to a book in the Chicago airport, Customer Mania by Ken Blanchard, Jim Ballard and Fred Finch. The book using examples from Yum!, the world's largest restaurant company, to explain how any company can create a Customer-focused environment.

One way they recommend is to focus on your people. No, not your people as in your Customers but your staff, your teams, your employees.

Simply put "if you put your people first and recognize their efforts, they will put your Customers first."

Does your leadership put your people first? If not, you may standing in the way of creating a Customer-focused environment.

I Am Blessed

2005-03-29T15:31:00.000-08:00

Walking around Birmingham airport at 5:45am, still half asleep, I handed my ticket to the lady at the gate. She had a really big smile and on her face and I asked her how she was.

She replied, “I am blessed.”

That response took me by surprise and made me stop rushing to get through security.

I took my time as I thought about how I just spent the most amazing Easter weekend with my family complete with baking cookies, a birthday party, an egg hunt, worship on Good Friday and Easter, make-overs, jumping on the trampoline, my brother’s favorite Threes Company reruns, daddy’s jokes, momma’s hugs, and laughter – lots and lots of laughter.

I am thankful for the humble spirit of a stranger reminding me just how blessed I am. Blessed indeed.

A Bunny for a Day

2005-03-24T06:08:00.000-08:00

I agreed to be the Easter Bunny expecting that wearing the bunny suit would be two things:

1. Hot, very hot – I cannot recall a time in my life when I felt like my whole body was on fire except in this suit. I bet I lost ten pounds just in sweat. Note to self – ask for a suit with ventilation in the head next year.

2. Rewarding - My first “performance” as the Easter Bunny was visiting local Clients. I caused quite a stir in the lobby of Farm Bureau Insurance as I sat on their leather sofas waiting to surprise a few potential clients complete with my furry suit and pink tennis shoes. People giggled, took pictures, waived, asked for candy and smiled a lot. It felt great to brighten people’s day.

My second and third “performances” as the Easter Bunny were at local nursing facilities. As expected the children that were visiting were really glad to see me and most of them were eager to have their picture made. But nothing touched me as much as watching the eyes of Residents light up.

Though as an aging adult, majority of them had lost a great deal of functioning from loss of hearing to loss of memory, they were so happy to spend a few minutes with me. Many of them hugged my neck and giggled out loud. I quickly began to forget how hot I was and became humbled that I had the opportunity to bring joy to their night.

I heard it said by lots of people yesterday that they would never dress up in a bunny suit. But if only their heart could feel as full as mine when I got home last night…there would be a waiting list for bunny volunteers.

Count me in as a bunny in 2006 and Happy Easter!

The Lesson of the Coffee Pot

2005-03-22T06:38:00.000-08:00

J.C. Dominguez, President of SCI companies recently gave an inspiring talk about how you can tell a lot about the people who work with or for you based on the coffee pot.

Have you ever really wanted a cup of coffee only to go to find the coffee pot completely empty? Somebody in your office had to have had the last cup of coffee yet they didn’t have the decency to fill it up for the next person.

J.C. states this is a major red flag for working for him and an act, which if you get caught taking the last cup and leaving the pot empty, will get you fired. Sounds dramatic right?

But if you cannot trust your employees to be thoughtful enough to fill up the coffee pot, how can you trust them to look out for your organization, your team or your Customers.

Simple yet profound.

So often we hire people who have all the right “technical” or “required skills” to perform the task for a job but we don’t really find out about their ability to relate and care about people.

We have to continue as organizations and leaders to hire smarter. To ask tough questions to ensure we are hiring superstars. To be patient and not just hire to keep a position from being empty. To bring people to our teams that care about refilling the coffee pot.

Big Fat Liar

2005-03-17T22:20:00.000-08:00

After reading Seth Godin’s new liar’s blog it reminded me of a recent lie I was told.

I received marketing materials from a local lawn care company last week complete with a mini-catalog with a headline that read, We will be spending a lot of time at Walnut Bend Road this spring.

Big fat liar.

So I shouldn’t have been surprised when I was awakened early Saturday morning from this same lawn care company. A polite gentleman proceeds to inform me that his company will be spending time at Walnut Bend this week ensuring my lawn was well maintained and asked if I had any questions.

I started laughing and stated I only had one question, “Did you know you are a liar?”

He said excuse me with questioning in his tone. Then I proceeded to inform him I didn’t have a lawn. I live in an apartment complex.

He immediately apologized but I found it necessary to coach him before I hung up the phone…

“Your company might want to spend more time researching their “leads” before they waste their money and my time. And I am deeply saddened that your company encourages you to lie to me especially on my day off.”

Gender Earnings

2005-03-15T22:32:00.000-08:00

I have had the pleasure in the last two months to be invited to partipate in Euchre tournaments. Now for my friends down South - Euchre is a card game that involves lots of strategy and a little luck of the cards.

The first tournament consisted of 16 people and everyone put in $10 a piece. The winners were the two people with the highest points, person with the most loners and the loser got their $10 back.

Now I didn't agree with the loser getting their money back but we will save that argument for another post.

The second tournament consisted of 20 people and everyone put in $10 a piece. The winners were the man with the highest points, the woman with the highest points and the person with the most loners. Plus they rewarded the male and female loser with their money back.

I immediately had to be clear...are we basing earnings of this game on gender?

The gracious host explained she and her family have played Euchre for years and she was taught that men play more aggressive, which can lead to more points, so you have to pay based on gender.

I wanted to scream bull crap but my momma taught me good manners and I respected that it was her house. But since I am blogging and in no one's home...

BULL CRAP!

What a stereotype! It is not like we are playing tug-of-war here where physical strength was involved. It is a card game based a strategy and luck.

Women accepting what they were taught about gender differences and allowing those explanations to still exist is the reason statistics prove men continue to earn significantly more than women in the same position (though the percentage continues to decrease).

So if the next time I play Euchre and I play aggressive to gain points, that will not make me a man. It will make me a woman who likes to win.

And a woman who hopes to change gender stereotypes, even if it is over a card game.

Don't Waste the Pretty

2005-03-13T18:29:00.000-08:00

I came across this phrase in my recent reading of “He’s Just Not That Into You.” I bought the book for two reasons:

1. I suck at dating.
2. All the press and hype over the book peaked my curiosity.

I enjoyed the book and realized I understand a lot more about dating and relationships than I thought I did plus I learned a phrase that I can apply in any area of my life…

“Don’t waste the pretty!”

Now the author said this phrase as it relates to women settling for less than they deserve in relationships. He says you are too pretty to waste energy on why he didn’t call or why he says hurtful things, etc. Just get out of the relationship and move on.

But this doesn’t just apply to women and relationships.

So many times we (me included) expend so much time and energy criticizing, doubting and judging ourselves that we forget to let our true selves shine. Don’t give yourself over to negativity. Find people and things that compliment, support and encourage the person you are and the person you desire to be.

Today is the day to “Stop wasting the pretty!”

Idea Meeting

2005-02-26T21:52:00.000-08:00

I shouldn't have been surprised when Kevin mentioned we should start having idea meetings every Friday morning. The purpose of the meeting would be to share ideas we learned throughout the week from our work with clients, our reading, and our research. This would also give us a chance to decide what new ideas to implement, which current ideas need tweaking and what ideas we could file away to use later.

While I knew it was a great idea, it made me nervous.

I always have good ideas and I am really great at implementing and fine-tuning the ideas of others; however, I just knew no amount of ideas I shared would even compare to the number shared by Kevin.

You see Kevin is nicknamed "idea man." An idea man is a person who has more ideas than they have time here on earth to implement them all. They begin their sentences with, "I've been thinking." They have shelves full of books on innovation and creativity. And apparently they hold idea meetings.

So I took my apprehension and ideas to the first meeting and I was sold.

After the meeting I realized how lucky I am to work for someone who valued my input. Who encouraged creative thinking. Who inspired me to achieve more. Who kept work exciting and challenging. And who appreciated my ideas, no matter how many or how simple they were. And I have yet to run out of ideas at our meetings.

I encourage you to begin holding idea meetings. And I encourage you to find an idea man or woman to mentor under. You will be glad you did.

p.s. Click HERE to read idea man's blog...I am confident you will gain at least one new idea ;)

Birthday Brat

2005-01-08T01:31:00.000-08:00

I love my birthday! No seriously - I really, really love my birthday. I get excited for it as soon as Christmas is over. And I have been known to remind people it is my birthday complete with countdowns and palm pilot reminders.

And although gifts are greatly appreciated it really isn't about the gifts.

Growing up my parents did a wonderful job of celebrating holidays especially birthdays. Parties at home were the best and my Momma always had the coolest themes and cakes. I even got to pick the meal that day. And my parents both did a wonderful job of making me feel special as if that day belonged only to me.

Birthday brat you might assume, but hear me out.

God created only one of me (some of you may be thankful for that), only one of me right down to the number of hairs on my head. Do you even realize how amazing that is? I am a miracle, as are you, and I believe the least I (and you should too) can do is celebrate this.

And I don't just love my birthday. I really, really love the birthdays of my family and friends too. I have been known to sing up to four different versions of Happy Birthday on various voicemails, send singing telegrams and shower people with lavish gifts. And when they remind me that it is just another day, I do my best to shower them with love, attention and thoughtfulness because I never want those whom I love to forget how special they are.

We were created in His image...no two alike...and on January 11th I will be celebrating the woman I am. The festivities begin on my birthday and go all the way through the weekend. You are more than welcome to join me.

But if you can't, let me know when your birthday is and I will rejoice in the miracle - the miracle of you!

Goals - What Goals?

2005-01-01T13:40:00.000-08:00

So here came the infamous New Year question, "Have you written all your goals down yet?" I had already asked two people this same question earlier so I am not quite sure why I was surprised when it was asked of me. Except, I didn't have the 'right' answer.

I hadn't written not one goal down and even worse I had no idea what I really even wanted in the New Year.

And yep I said that out loud to my friend which was a big mistake. The look on his face was shock followed by a disappointed sounding "You have to have some goals about something this year."

But I didn't and I still don't.

The New Year for me has been more about reflecting than goal setting. I have made some major changes in a year some of which were based on goals the previous year. And I am still trying to digest all the craziness, disappointments, successes and accomplishments that only come when you really challenge who you are and what you want.

So to all you goal setters out there - I am proud of you and hope you are well on your way to reaching every goal you set.

As for me - I am comfortable, at least for the moment, to just be.

Family Tradition

2004-11-21T16:35:00.000-08:00

I grew up on the University of Alabama and SEC college football. Saturday was game day and the television was only turned to check out games on different stations. Everybody in the family had a role to play.

Mom always made some kind of vegetable tray and oftentimes nacho dip. Dad was keeping the rocking chair warm while sipping a cold beer. Dad's best friend, Wayne spent many a Saturday watching with us. And my brother John was quoting National Championship and Bear Bryant statistics to quiz us on later. I was the cheerleader.

Now that I live away from home I miss football Saturdays at my parents.

I usually call my dad either Saturday night or Sunday to discuss all the games. If Alabama won, a Roll Tide always slips out. The next time I talk with my brother, football always comes up. And now that John has taken an interest in Pro Football we can talk about the Colts. Mom and I choose to discuss more girlie things but if I call during an Alabama game I can hear her cheers in the background.

Football, for me, will always be a family tradition.

Acknowledge A Job Well Done

2004-11-11T20:30:00.000-08:00

Our Management Team was debating where we would have lunch. Cheese biscuits from Red Lobster sounded especially enticing but we were hesitant due to two specific experiences with really poor Customer service. The call of the cheese biscuits won out as we agreed to give the restaurant one more chance.

We were pleasantly surprised at how great the Customer service was and agreed we should tell somebody. I first shared my praise with the waitress. I thanked her for changing our negative view of Red Lobster. She lit up as she explained that she is still training and how great this made her feel.

I then ask to speak to her manager.

You should have seen the look of terror on his face as he approached our table. I explained our past experiences with him and bragged about our new perspective thanks to excellent Customer Service by this particular waitress. He thanked her in our presence and added he hoped we would come again.

Before he walked away I just had to ask about the disturbing look he had when walking towards our table. He admitted he was expecting the worst. “Customers only complain they never tell you what you are doing right.”

Ouch! That made me sad but I knew what he was saying was probably true. We are often more than willing to return our food, complain to the manager or refuse to pay for a service we aren’t happy with. But how often do we tell someone when they exceed our expectations.

And I know before you even say it. “But Holly why should we thank them for doing their job.” Simple - there is a difference between doing a job and doing a job really well.

I encourage you to tell someone the next time you receive excellent Customer service. After all, who doesn’t like hearing they are doing a great job?

Flying the Friendly Skies

2004-11-04T23:22:00.000-08:00

Stuck on the Atlanta runway, late Thursday night, I began to notice and study the airplanes as they took off. The more I watched the more I began to realize how so much about these amazing machines reminded me of people.

Just like airplanes…

We are complex. We require daily maintenance to function at our best. We need a pilot to guide our way. And we cannot reach our destination without spreading our wings.

Thanks Delta for getting me home on time. And thanks Delta for reminding me that the sky really is the limit.

Halloween

2004-10-31T03:55:00.000-08:00

I had the pleasure of spending Halloween with my 4 year old niece, Mary Stewart and my seven year old nephew, Daniel. They dressed as Tinkerbell and PeterPan. I thought it would be fun to dress as Captain Hook.

When Saturday night arrived I found myself excited to get dressed up and enjoyed helping the kids. Pumpkins were grabbed and we were off to greet the neighborhood.

Door to door I giggled as Mary Stewart and Daniel raced to see who could ring the doorbell first. We would all chime in Trick or Treat and the neighbors seemed impressed by our costumes. I was even offered candy at several houses for my costume as well.

As the night wore on their pumpkins became more and more full. Their steps were less quick and they admitted to being tired. We had been to most houses in the neighborhood.

When the trick or treating looked to be coming to an end, the kids got a new burst of energy and asked for just one more house. As we headed home the trading of candy quickly began. I was bargaining for a few pieces of candy myself.

And I started to realize all that was gained by trick or treating with them.

I did all the adult stuff by reminding them to be gracious (which I have to brag about their sweet manners) and to keep off the grass. But by losing my inhibitions, allowing myself to paint on that fake mustache, burning up in my costume and laughing all the while, I also felt like one of them.

The one gift I was able to give Daniel and Mary Stewart was to be totally present with an evening that was important to them. The one gift I was able to give myself was the chance to be a kid again. And what we all gained were memories (and cute pictures) to last a lifetime.

A Lesson on Neediness

2004-10-25T19:01:00.000-07:00

I spent most of my weekend remodeling and redecorating but avoided bringing the heaviest package in from my car. A nice gentleman at Target loaded this package for me as it weighed more than I thought I could carry.

I gazed at the package in my backseat when I arrived home tonight and thought I can do this. One time, two times, three times without any luck. If only a strong man, significant other or even my dad were here, the package would be sitting on my living room floor waiting to be assembled.

As I took a deep breathe, the words popped out of my mouth...I need a man.

I felt a sense of disappointment for even thinking that let alone saying it out loud. After all, I am an independent woman, hear me roar.

Women everywhere are preaching independence. And as a 28 year old single, I have been preaching that too. But the heavy lifting got me thinking maybe it is okay to need a man or any relationship for that matter.

I recently heard a quote that says "A real relationship is when your desire for each other outweighs your need for each other." So it is with all our relationships. We will face tough times where we "need" our friends, family, or significant other. And to reach out to them is not a sign of weakness.

The lesson is not to lose yourself to the relationship. Not to depend solely on the other person to get you through those times of "need." So I took that lesson and headed back to the car.

I got that package in my living room. And when this nice young gentleman asked if he could help I batted my eyes and said, "Why yes will you please hold the door."

Harvest

2004-10-09T22:11:00.000-07:00

On my drive back from Vincennes, Indiana I couldn’t help but notice all the tractors in the fields. It was time for Harvest and I was actually sad not to be on a farm right now.

Four years ago I moved to rural Illinois and experienced the farm life for the first time. My first tractor ride involved spreading turkey manure and I was wearing high heels. I was not at all prepared for this kind of lifestyle and to say I didn’t immediately love the farm was an understatement. But the more I learned, the more I appreciated the hard work involved in farming.

And I began to look forward to harvest.

The combine was my favorite tractor and what was used to harvest. I used to joke that the snouts on the combine reminded me of giant green crayons. And I was always amazed at how the machine pulled up the whole stalk but knew to keep only the corn kernels. The yield monitor inside the combine just fed into my competitive spirit. There were times I would actually cheer it on to move the yield numbers up. And the best late night naps were spent sitting on the floorboard of the combine with my head in the buddy seat. The natural hum of the machine put me to sleep in no time and I often didn’t awake until the machine shut off.

I no longer live in rural Illinois. And I am no longer a part of the farm I grew to love. But given the opportunity – I would hop on a tractor in a heartbeat, high heels and all.